By: Patrick Slaven, Reference Librarian

Hello, and what’s your name? Ryan? Ryan Cohen? Pleasure to meet you Ryan! What can I do for you today? I’m Patrick, your reference librarian, so there are many ways I can help you. What’s that? The printer is jammed and you would like me to fix it for you? Well, I do have a graduate degree in library sciences and much more important projects to be working on, but nothing would please me more than to open up a printer and try to see what’s wrong with it.

I am just so glad you asked me, out of all people, to address the needs of the printer. I can help students in innumerable ways, from guiding them to the books they need to helping them decide which type of bibliography to use. But my absolute favorite thing to do is replacing ink cartridges in the printers over and over again. Seriously, talk about job satisfaction! I am just so glad I get to wake up every morning and come in to a job where I have the honor of poking and prodding at a printer each and every day.

The most exciting thing is that the printer is always broken for a different reason. Sure, I would get glum if the same error message always occurred or if the printer was jammed every time. But there are so many wonderful ways the printer can become unusable that it’s always an adventure. In fact, I was thinking of investing in a nice headlamp that would allow me to really explore the depths of the printer when it becomes defunct. Maybe I’ll even get a t-shirt that says, “I’m Patrick Slaven, and I really want you to ask me to fix the printer!”

Sure, I could be doing other tasks, such as syncing different online bibliography programs to our school’s network or connecting us to greater academic journals, but I would much rather be fixing things around the library. I am really the luckiest reference librarian in the entire world. Not only do I get to mend the printers in the morning and at night, but I also get to fix the scanner, the printing stations, and the broken network throughout the rest of the day. The fun just never ends for your ol’ pal, Patrick Slaven. Oh what joy it is to be such an indispensible entity.

Sure, I am glad I spent years studying library sciences and basically mastering the art of research and how to obtain knowledge. If I never got my master’s degree, I would never have landed me this dream job where I get to use my hands and memorize error codes on a laser printer. And besides, I get to hone my research abilities on how to fix printers.

So if you have a broken printer at your house, or just want me to help you with an irrelevant, mundane activity which you probably could have figured out on your own, be sure to call me, Patrick Slaven!