Shocking Findings About the Inner Workings of Washington Heights.

“Breaking Bad” celebrated as being the first halachically appropriate television show.

In an unprecedented move on Thursday, the Rabbis of REITS announced that the AMC mega hit, “Breaking Bad,” is in fact “Too good to be assur.” This is the first time that a TV show has been deemed “not assur” by a prominent group of Rabbis.

“We confiscated an iPod from an IBC student that happened to have the full first season on it. We took turns watching it and got hooked!” Said Dean of REITS, Rabbi Slifstein, during a press conference this Thursday. “How long did it take me to finish the first season? Let’s just say that Night Seder was not a priority for about 3 days. The plot is ridiculous, the cast is fantastic and Bryan Cranston is ah-fraggin-mazing. This show is simply too good to be assur.”

Other prominent REITS Rebbeim were excited for this news. “Don’t ruin anything for me! I got halfway through episode 3 of season 2 before Megavideo made me wait a half hour. I davened maariv during that time,” remarked Rabbi Silverstein, (SPOILER ALERT!) “Hank just shot Tuco, Skylar is confused about her marriage and the mental state of Walter and the DEA are hot on Jesse’s trail! This show is as addictive as  Crystal Meth... I meant Rashbam. It’s as addictive as Rashbam.”

This move also brings to light the existence of the mythical “Halachik TV Censorship Committee.” YU had been denying its existence for several years, despite suspicion from certain student groups. REITS finally admitted to the existence of the group on Thursday.

Rabbi Slifstein said that they did not announce its existence until now because there was never a show that they thought was not assur.  “Last year we debated ‘True Blood’, ‘Glee’, and ‘Dr. Who’. ‘True Blood’ had too many bloody boobs. ‘Glee’ we didn’t allow because we aren’t 16-year-old high school Girls, and Dr. Who we didn’t allow because we aren’t a bunch of nerds. We almost allowed ‘The Wire’ a few years back but got preoccupied when YU decided to move the super bowl party inside the Beis Midrash. Ok, maybe it wasn’t in the Beis Midrash, but it was in the same building. Ok, maybe it wasn’t even in the same building, but it was close enough to... Ok, maybe we overreacted on that a bit. Regardless, we are happy to have ‘Breaking Bad’ be the inaugural Halachikally Appropriate TV show. May we be zocheh to see many more in our future.  Amen selah.”
Rabbi Slifstein finished the conference by saying words that all sects of Judaism can relate to. “There is one thing we can all agree on, watching the NBC show ‘Whitney’ makes you an Apikores.” So true.

You can catch Whitney on NBC at 9:30pm!

“The Heights can’t be as dangerous as the YU dorms!” exclaimed a shocked student. “Can it?”

Deans shocked by this groundbreaking new choice.