Jesus.

Two weeks ago, future Hall-of-Fame-quarterback and current massage-chair-enthusiast Peyton Manning signed with the Denver Broncos. Shortly after the star’s signing, the Broncos traded their 2011 Lord and Savior, Tim Tebow, to the New York Jets, who want to double their number of players who are insufficient quarterbacks.

Tebow, who has always kept a positive attitude—even when most of the NFL was making fun of his Jesus-ness last year—took the news of his trade rather well. He was so full of optimism and hope that he barely cared that he would have to play in New Jersey. He also discussed some of his plans outside of football. Apparently, once he learned that he was moving to the Jets, he immediately decided to apply for YU’s Presidential Fellowship, figuring he’d have much more free time in between being Mark Sanchez’s backup and Rex Ryan’s pizza-delivery-guy. 

“As soon as I got the news, I tried to apply online,” he began, “but I couldn’t figure out that darned website. Please excuse my language. Thankfully, I was able to contact the school’s registrar, and they were able to help me out.” Tebow mentioned how the YU environment would be the ideal place for him to pursue his religious lifestyle, despite the place being, you know… Jewish. If Tebow does indeed get the fellowship, he wouldn’t be the first athlete to work on the YU campus. Recently, former Washington Heights native Manny Ramirez signed a one-year contract with Burns Security. 

Tebow has had a fascination with YU since he first heard of the institution earlier this year. A few months ago, YU officials told him that he’d been among a list of candidates that were nominated to receive the Norman Lamm Prize. Even after YU decided to give the prize to Knicks’ point guard Jeremy Lin, Tebow still had a positive association with the place that not even the prospect of living in Washington Heights could manage to dissuade. 

Though he would have to do all the random duties that the Presidential Fellows do, such as giving President Joel new phrases to make wordplay out of, he hopes that he can still have a chance to attend one of Dr. Bernstein’s Bible classes, or at least snag some free food from the hefker table.

Maybe soon he’ll go for semicha.