YU students are an incredibly happy, satisfied group, concluded a recent analysis by their media.

They uncovered, however, that it wasn't always this way. In the past, some students have complained about a "shift to the right" in the school's policies, while other students have expressed gentle concern that "this place is teetering on the brink of a bottomless pit of to'eiva."

What caused the turnaround?

"One day I just realized how proud I am to attend YU," said Yitzchok Green, a sophomore. "Now I mamash have a YU flag hanging in my bedroom window back home."

"I finally realized it's unhealthy to be so high-strung all the time," explained Jacob Gold, a senior who is well known in Yeshiva for his strong advocacy of student happiness. "A few months ago, the administration canceled an event I organized that they deemed to be too happy. I thought, well, I could make a big stink about it and play the victim. But would that benefit my peers' happiness in the long term?"

"This school is just so amazing," he added.

In recent months, students have sought new outlets to channel their satisfaction with the school. One particular success is a new online newspaper, The Flare, founded by two Stern students with the stated mission of being "a co-ed, uncensored expression of the joys of life at Yeshiva University."

Happy YU students leave dozens of enthusiastic comments on the website's articles. "This author has captured the deepest essence of the reasons I adore American Modern Orthodoxy," wrote Sarah. "Reading this essay, I felt like a-small-girl-in-a-summer-dress-running-through-a field-of-daffodils-bathed-in-sunshine-chased-by-several-puppies..." 

Commenters often compliment each other as well, reflecting the camaraderie among the students. "That comment was so poignant," wrote Yaakov Dovid Greenberg. "Sarah, you must be a remarkably intelligent and humble individual." Another commenter, Mark Goldman, replied, "Yaakov, I slightly disagree with you, but I admire your passion. Your grammar is excellent, too!" 

In the most recent sign of the broad happiness at Yeshiva, the new satire website, The Jokester, completely failed for lack of problems to mock.