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|Eli Manning Hopes Winning Another Super Bowl Will Finally Make Tom Coughlin Smile|
|Written by Eli Lebowicz|
|Sunday, 05 February 2012|
This may be tough to watch.
Sunday, the New York Giants of New Jersey and New England Patriots will face off in Super Bowl XLVI, a rematch of Super Bowl XLII, which Giants and Patriots fans both remember quite well because Tom Petty did a pretty solid job performing at the halftime show. Eli Manning and David Tyree ended up winning that Super Bowl, edging Tom Brady’s undefeated Patriots, an impressive feat considering Bill Belichick’s a huge cheater.
But despite the jubilation that erupted in the hearts of even the most cynical New Yorkers, winning quarterback Eli Manning still did not seem to win the heart of Giants coach and professional curmudgeon, Tom Coughlin. Eli, the only Manning brother with a working neck, said that Sunday’s big game would mean a lot to him, and maybe give him the validation he so desperately needs. He stated further, “Every time I make a good pass, I look at Tom and see his cold eyes glare at me.” The Giants’ wide receiver, Hakeem Nicks, confirmed Coughlin’s solemn disposition: “The team once went to a charity event for the Anti-Cruelty Society. I tried giving Coach a cute puppy to hold, but he just looked at the puppy and spit at it. That was a weird moment.”
Coughlin isn’t the only coach with this look of grouchiness glued to his face. Patriots coach Bill Belichick also has the same issue. Pats’ quarterback, Tom Brady admitted, “We’ve won a bunch of Super Bowls, and have clearly been one of the best teams in the AFC for most of the last decade. But I guess that’s not good enough for Bill.” Star tight end Rob Gronkowski also addressed the matter: “I’ve just given up on trying to make that soulless man smile. I think I did see him smile once, when he saw this old lady get hit by a car. He even laughed about it.” The New York Jets’ excuse-making quarterback, Mark Sanchez, said that the only times he’s seen coach Rex Ryan smile is when he was brought a huge box of donuts before practice a couple of times. Also, when he found out that he wasn’t actually pregnant, and just fat.
It seems that Manning and Brady have more at stake than just winning another Super Bowl. Brady, the man who annoyingly has everything, needs some validation that he doesn’t stink. Though the city of Indianapolis will be rooting for him just because he’s family and they hate Tom Brady, Manning still needs to know that no matter how well he plays, his brother Peyton will always be better than him.